


How To Create A Universe At Age Thirteen

by Dragonlies



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alien Character(s), Alien Gods, Alternate Universe, Badass girls, I hope I'm portraying PTSD correctly, I'm really bad at tagging, Napoleon Complex, Original Character(s), POV Third Person, SBURB Fan Session, Thirteen Year Olds Are Stone-Cold Little Bitches, This never updates, cause I have no idea what's happening, for a little, kinda PTSD, this is Homestuck so they're all going to die
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 01:50:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 9,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5187593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonlies/pseuds/Dragonlies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I've taught you all that you need to know<br/>~Hussie</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Homestuck. Obviously.

Emma: Wake Up

 

Emma opened her eyes to find herself in a room that was completely purple. She looked around confused. This room looked a lot like the rooms of Derse dreamers in a webcomic she was reading called Homestuck. Oh well she thought Maybe I’ve just been thinking about it too much. She got off of her bed and looked out the window. There were two other towers on Derse's moon. She sat on the window ledge then pushed of. Unsurprisingly she didn’t fall and merely floated.  
she flew to the tower closest to her and peaked in the window. She saw her best friend Alyssa Wolfe sleeping in the bed. Emma was shocked, sure this was her dream but wouldn’t her subconscious have placed her on Derse with the kids from Homestuck. Confused Emma flew back to her tower and got on top of her bed. She closed her eyes and slowly found herself returning to the waking world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God this chapter is short, probably shit to.


	2. When Worlds Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've taught you all that you need to know  
> ~Hussie

Emma: Wake Up, For Real This Time

 

Emma opened her eyes and sighed. _What a weird dream_ , she thought. She climbed out of bed. _Whatever I need to get dressed_. She put on her usual clothes, a white shirt that had all twelve zodiac symbols in their respective trolls blood colors on the front and the quadrants on the back in their respective colors along with dark jeans and a pair of tennis shoes. She left her room and entered the kitchen. Emma ate her cereal and went back to her room. She opened up her laptop and began to talk with one of her best internet friends, Kaitlyn Jones.

 

voidedLemur [VL] Began messaging mysticalParagon [MP] 

VL: Dude! I just had the weirdest dream ever!  
MP: What in case you didn't know there is a legit serious problem  
VL: I dreamt I was on Derse and Alyssa was there to  
MP: :o  
VL: what  
MP: Go to Homestuck right fucking now  
VL: Then will you tell me what this is about?  
MP: If you can't figure it out by then, yes  
VL: Ok

voidedLemur [VL] Ceased messaging mysticalParagon [MP] 

Emma opened up another window on her computer and went to www.mspaintadventures.com. Everything was gone except for a few words and a download link.

I've taught you all that you need to know

~Hussie

 _Fuck_ Emma thought. She went to message Alyssa.

voidedLemur [VL] Began messaging tertiaryNeptune [TN] 

VL: Alyssa where the fuck are you get your ass online.

TN: What  
VL: Have you gone to Homestuck  
TN: Yeah don't worry I've already connected to Kaitlyn as her server player  
VL: Good, I guess I'll connect to you and find a server player  
VL: Have you by any chance woken up on Derse yet TN: No I'm assuming you have though  
VL: Yeah I didn't really look around though  
VL: I just saw you then I was really confused so I went back to my tower and woke up  
TN: That's cool  
TN: Anyway I'll wait for you to connect to me  
TN: I think I know a guy who mentioned dreaming about Prospit once so I'll ask him to connect to you.  
VL: Ok.. Bye  
TN: Hey E  
VL: Yeah  
TN: Don’t die  
TN: Okay  
VL: I can’t promise that but…  
VL: I’ll do my best

voidedLemur [VL] Ceased messaging tertiaryNeptune [TN] 

Emma clicked the link and watched as it began to download. Suddenly her chat client pinged.

interactiveCartographer [IC] Began messaging voidedLemur [VL] 

IC: Hey are you the kid Alyssa told me to connect to  
VL: Yes  
IC: Have you downloaded yet  
VL: I am currently in the process of downloading SBURB  
IC: Cool tell me once you're done  
VL: Okay  
VL: ...  
VL: I'm done  
IC: Can you see Alyssa  
VL: Yes  
IC: Alright I'm connecting to you as your server player  
VL: Alright  
VL: So you dream on Prospit  
IC: Yeah  
IC: How about you  
VL: Haven't you looked in your other towers?  
IC: No I felt like it would be an invasion of others privacy  
VL: But didn't you think it was a dream  
IC: I guess but it still felt wrong  
VL: Well... Okay  
VL: Anyway I'm a Derse dreamer  
IC: When did you wake up  
VL: Just last night actually  
IC: If it's not to personal, do you happen to know why you woke up  
VL: I have no idea!  
IC: You seem oddly happy about that  
VL: I do don't I  
IC: Yeah anyway I'm connecting to you so if you have anything you don't want me to see you should hide it  
VL: okay  
VL: Alright I've finished hiding my torture victims  
IC: Wait  
IC: What  
VL: Just kidding  
VL: Maybe  
IC: I seriously doubt it  
VL: Well... Yeah your probably right  
VL: It's a shame really the trolls are so interesting  
IC: yeah I guess so  
IC: okay I've connected to you  
VL: Great we have 2,000 Build Grist right  
IC: yeah  
VL: Are you okay?  
IC: Yeah why  
VL: You weren't capitalizing the first letter of each sentence  
IC: I see that  
IC: Um any way you get to work is Alyssa's server player and I'll get to work as your's  
VL: Okay  
VL: Hey what's your name?  
IC: I'm Adam  
VL: I'm Emma  
IC: Well, bye I guess  
VL: Bye

voidedLemur [VL] Ceased messaging interactiveCartographer [IC] 

_Well that was certainly weird_ Emma thought as she deployed Alyssa's Alchemitter then her Cruxtruder and finally her Totem Lathe. She sent a quick message to Alyssa telling her to 'Go and kill some imps or something because I'm running out of Grist'. Emma looked up for a second _Oh look there's my Totem Lathe_ she thought seeing it against her wall. She looked around for a weapon and saw her blank Strife Specibus card. _Hhhhmmm I wonder if it will work_. She picked up the card and went into her parents bedroom. She unlocked the safe in the back of the closet, and located a handful of throwing knifes. She held out the Strife Specibus card, the knives disappeared and on the card a jumble of knives had replaced the blank card. She gave a small smile, _At least I know how to use these_ , she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear God, Please let the conversations have color in them.


	3. Anger Management

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author attempts to write a child with anger management issues. Containing little humor, a purposefully vague ending, and a shit-load of profanity.

Chapter 3 Be the Boy

 

Which one you’ll have to be more specific.

Be the angry boy

Okay, but I hope you know what you’re getting into.

Darren was a mess. At the moment all he could feel was uncontrollable rage at everything. Rage at Homestuck for being real, rage at Andrew Hussie for getting them all into this mess, rage at the meteors that would soon crash into his house, rage at the fact that his entire species was doomed, rage that this session clearly couldn’t succeed at SBURB because everyone was stupid, rage at everyone’s ignorance, rage that he himself wasn’t ignorant, even rage at his friends for being about to die. He knew his anger was unreasonable, but he didn't care. His chat client pinged. He turned, who dared interrupt his hatred?

mysticalParagon [MP] Began messaging temporalOlympiad [TO]

****MP: Good morning ignorant fuckass

TO: What do you want Queen of Sluts

MP: For you to actually take something seriously for once

TO: Are you saying I don’t take things seriously Paragon, really I’m hurt

MP: Sure you are

TO: By the way it is horribly inconvenient to have to call you Paragon, would you tell me your name

MP: No _Darren_

TO: Why ever not

MP: Because I hate you

TO: My, my, my I did not see this coming

MP: Not in that way needle dick

TO: I must say I do wonder where you get all of these creative insults

MP: Not your bussiness creep

TO: Why ever not cunt

MP: If I thought your brain could retain the information I would tell you

TO: Low blow there whore

MP: It could be considered that, pervert

TO: ♠ 

MP: HAHAHA. No.

TO: We’ll see, cougar

MP: Just go busy yourself with whatever you do to attempt to do to make your meaningless life slightly more bearable until I contact you again, pretty boy

mysticalParagon [MP] Blocked temporalOlympiad [TO] 

 

Darren frowned. As much as he enjoyed his banter with Paragon it always gave him a headache. She always seemed to know what he was going to say, and already had a comeback. His first few conversations with her came to mind, those occurred back when she still seemed to like him. But then one day she just, suddenly hated him. He'd started up their chat like normal but oddly enough she had their sound on, and he could hear screaming in the background. Later she’d come back to the computer and just ranted about how stupid he was and how he was going to screw everything up, eventually he'd just, started to think that maybe she was right. Whatever he’d just find a weapon and practice with it until she told him who to connect with. He heard a clank and spun around. His Totem Leathe had been placed, Darren frowned. Who was his server player? His chat client pinged, it was a message from Paragon.

mysticalParagon [MP] Began messaging temporalOlympiad [TO]

 

MP: Your client player is ruthlessKnight

MP: Prototype your sprite with a frog first

mysticalParagon [MP] Blocked temporalOlympiad [TO]

Darren walked outside and saw a flat rock. He grabbed a shovel and began to dig around it. Soon he uncovered a box, Darren picked up the box and went back inside. He entered his room and opened the box, Darren picked up what was inside of the box and threw it into the sprite. He then picked up the second item inside the box and threw it in the sprite as well, Darren smiled, _If that’s how you want to play Paragon, fine, i’ll play._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing while listening to music in another language actually works.  
> 


	4. Please don't cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a glimpse at Adam Bruns. Containing one possible tear-jerker, an introduction to the final main character, and the question of who exactly is running things in this session.

Chapter 4 Be Adam

 ****  


Adam stared at the computer screen in front of him. On the screen was a girl he had recently learned was named Emma. Shit I know this girl, he thought, and it was true. He couldn't quite remember where he knew her from. Then, it hit him. Second grade Mrs. Dickens’s class’s Christmas play. He had played Rudolph and she had punched the grade’s meanest bully for making fun of his nose. After that day he never saw her again. Adam deployed all her items in what he felt were convenient locations. He spun around and noted the recent additions to his room. He grabbed his backpack and emptied it out onto the floor. He grabbed cans of food from the pantry and glanced at his parents portrait in the living room. I’ll make you guys proud, I promise. Adam ran back into his room and saw an open Cruxtruder with a large book on the ground next to it. He grabbed a blank piece of paper from his pile of school supplies and, praying to whatever gods there might be, threw it into his empty kernel sprite. For a moment nothing happened, but then his kernel appeared as a giant floating piece of paper. Adam looked around for something to prototype his kernel with so it could speak. He saw the box that contained the remains of his brothers pet rat, which had yet to be buried. Adam shrugged and picked up the box. He went into his room and threw the rat into the sprite. For a moment his room was awash with light, Adam covered his eyes with his arm and glanced at his computer screen. Adam saw that Emma was no longer in her room, curious he moved his viewpoint around until he saw her in another bedroom. She was standing in the closet holding a Strife Specibus card, as he watched she unlocked a safe and grabbed a pair of knives, they disappeared into the card. Adam smiled, She’s smart, he thought. He grabbed his own Strife Specibus card from his desk and went into the living room. Over the fire was his family’s heirloom, a 16 inch bowie knife. He held out his card and the knife disappeared. Adam looked down at the card and saw the imprint of a knife on it. Adam frowned, I don’t want to hurt anything, but, I’m going to, even if I try not to. He closed his eyes and felt tears leak out from under his eyelids. It’s too early to cry, to meteors haven’t even landed yet, pull yourself together! He turned around and walked back to his room. He saw his Totem Lathe against the wall, on the floor next to it was a prepunched sylladex card. Adam picked up the card and placed it in the slot he grabbed a Cruxite from his Cruxtruder and placed it under the needle. The Totem Lathe carved into the Cruxite. He picked up the Cruxite and walked over to his Alchemitter.

ruthlessKnight [RK] Began messaging interactiveCartographer [IC] 

RK: WAIT!!  
RK: Actually now that I think about it placing that in all caps was a mistake because it doesn’t add emphasis to the alert but anyway  
RK: STOP!! YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT YET!!  
IC: First: Why  
IC: Second: Who are you  
RK: I’m Richard  
RK: Didn’t Kaitlyn tell you?  
IC: Who’s Kaitlyn?  
RK: mysticalParagon  
IC: Who’s that?  
RK: Wait, who told you to connect?  
IC: tetiaryNeptune  
RK: Oh  
RK: Her  
IC: What  
RK: What  
IC: Why do I sense either sadness or contempt behind those words  
RK: She’s annoying  
IC: That’s your opinion dude  
RK: Anyway  
RK: I feel like we got off on the wrong foot  
RK: Hi I’m Richard  
RK: And you are  
IC: Adam  
IC: But why didn’t you want me to put my Cruxite on the Alchemitter?  
RK: Because you need to get into the loop first  
RK: Soon a person name mysticalParagon should start a memo  
RK: I would suggest not doing anything that would get you into the medium until then  
IC: Fine  
IC: I’ll wait for this MP to start up a memo so I can get back into the fabled loop  
RK: Good

ruthlessKnight [RK] Ceased messaging interactiveCartographer [IC]

****  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I get the feeling these two are not going to get along.


	5. The First Memo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6 minutes remaining

mysticalParagon [MP] Opened memo Homestuck Rules

MP: Sadly to open this memo I had to unblock certain undesirables, Darren that’s you, but I kindly ask them to not speak to me  
MP: Now that that’s out of the way let’s introduce ourselves  
MP: I’m Kaitlyn  
IC: I’m Adam  
RK: Richard  
TN: I’m Alyssa  
TO: The name’s Darren  
TO: And may I say Kaitlyn, that name really does suit you  
mysticalParagon [MP] Blocked temporalOlympiad [TO]  
VL: I’m Emma  
MP: Thank you  
MP: Now from what I understand Emma and Alyssa are Derse dreamers  
VL: That is correct  
MP: Does anyone else know where they dream?  
IC: I’m Prospit  
MP: Alright  
MP: Now whichever one of you goes to sleep first  
MP: Please remember to look in the towers to see who dreams where  
VL: How will I know which of the guys is a Derse dreamer if I see them  
TN: Just ask them what they look like  
RK: That sounds like a plan  
RK: But does anyone know how long have until the meteors land  
IC: About  
IC: 6 minutes  
VL: I’m ready to enter  
TN: Me two  
MP: I make three  
IC: That makes me four  
RK: It seems I have landed in the position of five  
MP: And I can see that Darren is also ready  
VL: OHMYGODALYSSA  
TN: What  
VL: YOU DIDNOT  
TN: I didn’t what?  
VL: Alyssa  
TN: Yeah  
VL: When did you learn to use Korean war fans  
TN: Why do you think I was always busy on Fridays  
VL: ……  
VL: Let me rephrase that  
VL: _WHY_ did you learn to use Korean war fans  
TN: I actually don’t know  
TN: But don’t worry I’m a responsible war fan owner  
VL: The last time I saw you use one you cut a butterfly in half  
TN: It looked threatening!  
VL: Sure it did  
MP: Well I guess this would be a good time to ask what everyone is using as a weapon  
TN: Korean war fans  
VL: Two daggers and assorted throwing knives  
RK: A hanbō  
IC: A bowie knife  
MP: I’m using a short sword  
MP: And Darren appears to be using  
MP: …..  
MP: His fists  
MP: …..  
MP: Alright everyone  
MP: Place your Cruxite one your Alchemitter  
MP: And get to the medium

mysticalParagon [MP] Closed memo Homestuck Rules

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter someone (Or everyone I'm not sure) should be entering the medium


	6. LOSAC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaitlyn gets her first kill, and an ominous prophecy.

Kaitlyn had known the end was coming for a long time. Months ago she had been contacted by a future self, her future self hadn’t told her how she got there, but she managed to get a few things across before vanishing. Darren would kill them all and that she had to start learning how to use a short sword. But now standing in front of her Alchemitter she found it extremely hard to place her Cruxite on the pedestal Flakesprite floated up behind her and rested his head on her shoulder.

“I know, I know, _when time comes make sure to page me_ ,” she plopped the Cruxite down on the pedestal then quickly spun and hugged Flakesprite.

“You were the best snake a girl could hope for,” she whispered “The prettiest flower too,” Kaitlyn pulled back and wiped her eyes. She turned around to see her entrance to the Medium, a large clock. That’s odd, she thought, that’s not the correct time. She pulled the arrows around until they said 12:00. Then with a flash her house disappeared from the neighborhood.

The Land of Sundials and Calamity. Kaitlyn opened her eyes and looked out the window. She was momentarily blinded by the light. When she was able to see again she saw a golden field with pink deer frolicking. But over the horizon she could see a large shadow. _Sssssave them_ , Flakesprite hissed. Kaitlyn turned,

“What?” She asked. _The consorts of your land, can’t see the darkness, but if you give them a hand, you can save them from their future deadness_. Flakesprite pinned Kaitlyn down with a steely gaze. _Be their hero, save their glow, be their Guardian, and you will have won._

“Ok, I get you’re supposed to give me a bunch of fucking riddles, but seriously. WHAT!?” _Page, Sylph, Mage, Seer, Knight, Heir, six heroes running out of **time** their lives are forfeit if they can’t see they’re **doom** ed, when one falls to **rage** another will learn to fear a small **space** , if they lose **hope** they’ll all fall to **flame**_. Kaitlyn was scared, she backed up until she bumped into the wall. _Insanity, feels like floating on the air, Psychopathy, floating free without a care, Insanity, an illusion that can’t end, Captivity, do try your best to mend_. Kaitlyn looked around wildly before remembering her Strife Specibus, she pulled out her short sword and brandished it at Flakesprite. The sprite didn’t even blink. An imp appeared, it was a hideous combination between a flower and a roll of toilet paper. Without even thinking Kaitlyn minced it the creature. A few pieces of grist appeared at her feet, and she stared at it with wide eyes, panting. Flakesprite inclined his head head, turned around, and exited Kaitlyn’s room. Leaving the girl staring at her first kill.

 ****  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't figured out Kaitlyn's God Teir by now, I'm ashamed, also if you're wondering what Flakesprite looks like think a light orange Snakesprite with flower petals around the back of its head.


	7. LOCAA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imps get killed, moirials talk

The Land of Cliffs and Art. Alyssa’s face was bathed in light, she opened her eyes and looked out her window. Outside was the picturesque edge of a cliff, she saw a waterfall tumbling down the edge. Flying near the cliff face was a flock of forest green birds. _Beautiful isn’t it_ , Rogsprite said.

“Yeah, but it’s… missing something,” Alyssa crinkled her nose and narrowed her eyes. _You must Learn to Sing the Song of the Birds_. Alyssa looked over at Rogsprite,

“Is that my personal quest?” Rogsprite nodded solemnly. Alyssa glanced out the window, “Tweet, tweet, tweet,” she joked. The birds repeated her call, but something was different. Alyssa furrowed her brow, “They seem, sad” _Learn to Sing the Song of the Birds and you will make them happy_. Alyssa nodded, she unfolded her fans with a flick of her wrists. “Well I know I would be unhappy with imps invading my land, besides, it’ll get me grist. Rogsprite somehow managed to smile.

Alyssa was a dancer. Spinning, she placed one arm in fifth position and the other in first position, she turned the blades of her fans outward and nodded her head. One of her consorts dive-bombed an imp and scratched up its eyes. Alyssa nodded her thanks, and the consort flew off. Blood splattered her clothes and face as she sliced one imps neck and decapitated another. Alyssa jumped into the air and landed on top of a Floll imp, using it as a springboard to the much taller Socper imp, as she fell to the ground she cut the imp in half. Once she landed she spun and immediately used one of her fans as a boomerang and killed the Floll. The imps were all dead, in their places was small piles of Grist. Alyssa smiled and flicked her wrists, folding her fan, then catching the other one, one-handed, and doing the same. She pulled out her phone.

tertiaryNeptune [TN] Began pestering voidedLemur [VL]

TN: So, would I be correct in assuming that everyone has entered the medium?  
VL: Well Kaitlyn, You, Me, and Adam, I know for certain have entered  
TN: Kaitlyn is Land of Sundials and Calamity, I’m Land of Cliffs and Art  
TN: What about you and Adam  
VL: Adam has Land of Night and Emptiness  
TN: What about you  
VL: I have  
VL: The Land  
VL: of  
TN: Yes  
VL: Ash  
VL: and  
TN: Yes  
VL: Fear  
TN: Oh  
VL: Alyssa  
TN : Yeah  
VL: I’m scared  
TN: Why  
VL: Everything out there will be designed to scare me  
TN: You don’t know that  
VL: Yes, I do  
TN: How  
VL: I can feel it  
TN: It’ll be alright  
VL: No, Alyssa, it won’t  
VL: We’re going to die  
TN: Of course  
TN: How else do you think we’re going to God Tier  
VL: That isn’t making me feel any better  
TN: Shoosh  
VL: Are you  
TN: Shoooooooosh  
TN: Shoosh  
VL: Seriously  
VL: What  
TN: Shoosh, Pap  
VL: I’m good  
TN: Okay  
TN: But when I get to your land we’re having a feelings jam  
VL: I’ll have a pile prepared  
VL: ;D  
TN: ;D  
TN: To you too  
TN: Pale for you  
VL: Paler for you  
TN: How pale  
VL: As pale as you can get without being a vanilla milkshake  
TN: :)  
TN: <>  
VL: <>

tertiaryNeptune [TN] Ceased messaging voidedLemur [VL]

****  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rogsprite is a light green Dogsprite with a roll of toilet paper around his stomach. He is also much less cryptic than Flakesprite, might have something to do with not being a predatory animal and actually truly loving Alyssa, unlike Flakesprite who is a snake and, honestly, probably doesn't like Kaitlyn very much.


	8. LOFAG

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fifth person to enter the medium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit for the lyrics goes to totalspiffagehomestuck

ruthlessKnight [RK] Began messaging temporalOlympaid [TO]

RK: So you’re my server player  
TO: That’s right  
RK: Cool  
RK: Anyway  
RK: Want to quote a fansong while getting ready to go into the medium  
TO: You’re a fansong creator aren’t you  
RK: Yeah  
TO: Okay cool  
TO: Let’s do it  
RK: Great!  
TO: What song  
RK: Do you know  
RK: [S] Die Young   
TO: Yeah  
TO: Let’s do this  
TO: Get your cruxite out and i’ll get you in game  
TO: I’ll prototype you a sprite that might be tame  
TO: So while the meteor falls  
TO: Let’s get you into the game, or we’re gonna die young  
RK: We’re gonna die young  
RK: We’re gonna die young  
RK: Let’s get me into the game, or we’re gonna die young  
RK: Let’s get me into the game, or we’re gonna die young  
TO: Punch cards, Alchemize  
TO: Running or we’re outta time  
TO: Strifekind, looking good  
TO: We prepare just like we should  
TO: My server player’s destroying my house  
RK: What now  
TO: The countdown is ticking so we’ve gotta run  
RK: Oh, yeah  
RK: Looking for some imps tonight  
RK: Gotta get Adam on the inside  
RK: Could be the last night of our lives  
RK: But we’ll keep playing till we die  
TO: Get your cruxite out and i’ll get you in game  
TO: I’ll prototype you a sprite that might be tame  
TO: So while the meteor falls  
TO: Let’s get you into the game, or we’re gonna die young  
RK: We’re gonna die young  
RK: We’re gonna die young  
RK: Let’s get me into the game, or we’re gonna die young  
RK: Let’s get me into the game, or we’re gonna die young  
TO: Young kids, swinging swords  
TO: Raking in all that grist  
TO: Game installed, chain complete  
TO: All these people SBURB with me  
TO: We’ll work together and I know we’ll be fine  
TO: And if we’re stuck we won’t be afraid to die  
RK: Looking for some imps tonight  
RK: Gotta get Adam on the inside  
RK: Could be the last night of our lives  
RK: But we’ll keep playing till we die  
TO: Get your cruxite out and i’ll get you in game  
TO: I’ll prototype you a sprite that might be tame  
TO: So while the meteor falls  
TO: Let’s get you into the game, or we’re gonna die young  
RK: I’ll get the cruxite out, and you’ll get me in game  
RK: I’ll have a sprite that might be tame  
RK: So while the meteors fall  
RK: Let’s get into the game, or we’re gonna die young  
TO: We’re gonna die young  
TO: We’re gonna die  
TO: Let’s get you into the game or we’re gonna die young  
RK: Awesome dude  
TO: *bows* Thank you  
RK: Is my entrance to the medium supposed to be a giant portal  
TO: Fuck if I know  
RK: Okay then I’ll guess I’ll enter  
TO: Okay tell me what your land name is  
RK: OK  
RK: The Land of Frogs and Glass  
RK: Well I guess I’m the space player  
TO: Cool  
TO: Wait hold up  
TO: K wants to know what your land looks like  
RK: Well it kinda looks like a forest  
RK: Wait  
RK: Dude this is so cool  
RK: The leaves are made of green glass  
TO: Sweet  
TO: Wait  
TO: What  
RK: What?  
TO: Not you sorry  
TO: She seems to think she knows what everyone's aspects are  
RK: Why  
TO: I dunno  
TO: Something her sprite said  
RK: Tell her to calm down  
TO: Mkay  
TO: :?  
RK: What  
TO: She mentioned a future self  
TO: So I guess that makes her a time player  
RK: Well two down four to go  
TO: :o  
RK: :?  
TO: ohmyfuckinggod  
RK: What  
TO: A few months ago the two of us were friends  
RK: And you aren’t know  
TO: Yeah, because we were supposed to have a video chat  
TO: But she wasn’t there and I could hear shouting in the background  
RK: Are you saying what I think you’re saying  
TO: That was the same day her future self came to talk to her  
RK: But why would her future self make her hate you  
RK: More so what did she tell her you did to make her hate you  
TO: I don’t know  
TO: Maybe it was important to the timeline that she hated me at first for some reason  
RK: Yes because our lives rest on you two being kismesis  
TO: Dude.  
TO: I.  
TO: Don’t.  
TO: Hate.  
TO: Her.  
RK: Okay whatever  
RK: You in the medium yet  
TO: If I wasn’t I wouldn’t be talking to you  
RK: True  
RK: Well  
RK: I’ll see you when I go through my first gate  
TO: And I’ll build up your house so Adam doesn’t die when he comes through

ruthlessKnight [RK] Ceased messaging temporalOlympiad [TO]

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone have a guess as to what their God Tiers will be, and why future!Kaitlyn went back in time to make Kaitlyn hate Darren.


	9. LONAE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots and of curse words get said

    _Whelp_ , Adam thought, _I can't see shit, really like where is the fucking light switch?_ All Adam could see was Patsprite. _The Land of Night and Emptiness_ , Adam gave Patsprite ‘the look’,

“Well someone's depressed,” _Bring Back The Light_ ,

“Alright I'll get on that at soon as I find the freaking sun,” this time it was Patsprite giving Adam ‘the look’.

“Dude chill, it was just a joke mixed with toddler level observations,” _You know what, fuck you Adam._ Adam let out a snake laugh,

“So you can have fun, good to know I didn't own the most serious possible rat for five years,” _Shut the fuck up or I will use my sprite powers to kill you_.

“Well shit man you've completely terrified me,” Patsprite lifted a paw with the middle claw pointed up and the others folded. _Just go fuck up some imps shit._

“Will do Patsprite, as soon as I find the fucking light switch,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patsprite is best sprite
> 
> I hate updating from my phone
> 
> Merry Thanks-fucking-giving


	10. LOAAF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weird things happen

It was dark outside. Emma knew she should have expected it considering her planet’s name but still. It was dreadfully quiet, she could see the accident replaying over and over in her mind. Come on Peterson pull yourself together, that was years ago there’s nothing to be afraid of. Emma pulled her daggers from their sheathes and slowly took a forward, as she walked she felt Penstersprite following behind. _Understand the Ashen Fear_ Penstersprite intoned, Emma swallowed thickly, _No stop now is not the time to cry!_

 _I’ll try_ she answered. She had made it to the edge of a large crater, Emma pulled a piece of twine out of her backpack and tied it around her waist, she stuck her daggers in the makeshift belt and knelt down. Emma grabbed the edge of the canyon and swung herself around, she began to climb down. **If a Homestuck climbs down a canyon how long does it take until she falls?** Emma stiffened and looked around before continuing to climb. _Cut it out Peterson! It's just your imagination!_ **Oh I assure you I am anything but your imagination.** _Stop freaking out! Your lands just getting you, that's all._ **Well, well, well, looks like you're finally right about something.** _You're just freaking out because it's dark, and you're climbing down a canyon, and there's wind so you're turning it into a voice that's all._ **Oops, wrong again Peterson.** _SHUT UP! I WON’T HAVE MY OWN MIND TURNING AGAINST ME BY TELLING ME THERE’S SOMETHING THERE WHEN THERE ISN’T!_ The voice didn't reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Penstersprite is a light blue hamster that seems to be splitting a pencil in two.
> 
> It appears Emma has realized that by thinking something she can make conversations with Penstersprite completely mental. 
> 
> This chapter is really short but I don't even care because, OMFG Emma's hearing voices!
> 
> Next chapter will be longer. I promise.


	11. The Hacked Memo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The main cast (minus Darren, but really who cares about him) meet their gods

mysticWinter [MW] Hacked into memo Homestuck Rules

MW: ~Hello humans who will attempt to save earth~  
MW: ~My friends and I are to be your guides and as such teach you what your sprites can’t~  
MW: ~Any questions?~  
MP: Who are you  
MW: ~One of those who created your universe~  
VL: Are you a troll  
MW: ~No~  
TN: What are you  
MW: ~A Seelenanteil~  
IC: Whats that?  
MW: ~That is a very broad question~  
RK: What do you look like  
MW: ~I personally have skin like yours, with eyes that are a mix of grey and pale olive, horns that point directly downwards, and white hair~  
MW: ~My brother has similar but slightly darker skin, eyes that are a mix of grey and jade green, horns that point directly upwards, and light grey hair~  
MP: What about the other members of your session  
MP: For that matter what are your names  
MW: ~I am Miriam, my brother is Charlie, the other members of our session are Basil and Aasim~  
VL: Why do you want to help us  
MW: ~That I can't explain~  
WM: But I can  
MW: ~Charlie please~  
WM: Please what  
MD: she wants you to stop bothering her dipshit  
WM: Oh of course you would Interject  
MD: what's that supposed to mean!?  
WM: It means you've had a crush on her ever sInce you fIrst saw her  
DM: Gu¥s quit it!  
DM: ¥ou two have been at each other's throats since before ¥ou went God Tier  
MW: ~She's right~  
WM: You're just upset because I’m callIng It lIke It Is  
MW: ~You're the one with a Napoleon complex the size of a battleship~  
WM: What's that supposed to mean  
MW: ~Look it up dipshit~  
WM: Are you callIng me short!  
DM: ¥ou are kinda short  
WM: Stay out of thIs AIrlIa  
>MD: what did you just call her!!!!!  
>WM: You heard me Hiram  
MW: ~Charlie!~  
MW: ~You know you're not supposed to call them that!~  
WM: Shut up _Adhara_  
MW: ~I'm not talking at all _Horado_ ~  
DM: AAAAHHHH I did not need to see those words!  
MD: make it stop!!  
WM: AIrlIa, HIram, Adhara  
MW: ~UGH!~  
MW: ~I'm so done~ mysticWinter [MW] Banned webcamMagnus [WM]  
MD: thank you miriam  
MW: ~Whatever~  
IC: I'm so confused  
RK: Me two  
MP: Me three  
TN: Me four  
VL: Me five  
VL: Where's Darren  
MP: Don't know, don't care  
TN: Why?  
MP: Because he's going to get us all killed!!  
DM: No he's not!!  
MP: What  
MP: But  
MD: we know what your future self said  
MD: and we know why she said it  
MD: she's right about him killing you all  
MD: but you all have to die to reach god tier  
MP: Then why would she  
MW: ~Because we told her two~  
MP: Why  
MW: ~You'll find out soon enough~  
TN: So why did you want to talk to us  
MW: ~To tell you who your mentors would be~  
VL: Mentors?  
DM: We can't just open up the group chat ever¥time one of ¥ou has a question  
RK: Yeah, I guess that makes sense  
MW: ~I will be your mentor Richard~  
MW: ~And my rude brother will be Kaitlyn’s~  
MW: ~Sorry Kaitlyn~  
MP: It's okay  
DM: I'm mentoring Al¥ssa  
MD: i’m mentoring adam  
MW: ~I will mentor Emma~  
DM: Aasim and I are mentoring Darren  
VL: Why isn't Charlie helping you mentor me?  
MW: ~As nice as my brother can be once you get to know him, what you need to learn is a form of self-control~  
MW: ~Something my brother never has had, and never will have~  
MP: So why is he mentoring me?  
MW: ~Because he's the only one who can help you~  
IC: Hey Aasim first question  
IC: Why the fuck is my land so dark  
MD: because your personal quest is to bring back the light  
MW: ~Alright this is the end of the memo~  
MW: ~Basil, Aasim, you know what to do~  


 

mysticWinter [MW] Closed memo Homestuck Rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well now we know why they don't have trolls in this session.


	12. LOMAC (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which nothing is accomplished, and zero plot is worked through.

diminsionalMoon [DM] and mutatedDemicastor [MD] Began messaging temporalOlympiad [TO]

DM: HI!  
MD: greetings angry one  
TO: So let me guess  
TO: You’re a hybrid mix of trolls and humans and your season was the one the characters from Homestuck created  
TO: At the end of your season you were given the choice to help us or live out the rest of your days as gods  
TO: Seeing how our season would go without your help you decided to help us  
DM: o:  
MD: holy frick  
MD: this surprises me much more than it should  
DM: hhhhhhmmmmmm  
DM: hhhmmmhhmmmhmmmmhmmmhhhhmm  
TO: What  
DM: Hush little murder bo¥  
DM: The time has not come  
DM: For ¥ou to see the wills of the world  
DM: As ¥ou slowl¥ drift to sleep  
DM: If we pretend that ¥ou won’t see all ¥our friends die  
DM: As the world fades to blackness  
DM: If I gave ¥ou one chance, would ¥ou take it  
DM: Even if it would mean ¥ou will descend to madness  
TO: Dafuq are you saying  
MD: shut up  
MD: she’s singing the Song of Rage  
TO: Oh  
TO: Alright then  
DM: Apologies for the pause  
DM: I was dela¥ed b¥ another of our pla¥ers  
TO: Who?  
DM: That is not relevant  
TO: Then what are your names  
MD: i am aasim  
DM: And I am Basil  
TO: Alright then  
DM: What is ¥our land  
TO: LOMAC  
MD: can we kill him yet  
DM: No  
DM: I meant the full title  
TO: The Land of Monsters and Chaos  
MD: thank you dipshit  
MD: now you need to go to your first gate  
DM: Here’s a photo of ¥our land  
diminsionalMoon [DM] Sent file Bird’s Eye View Of LOMAC To temporalOlympiad [TO]  
TO: Thanks I guess  
DM: Α,Β,Γ,Δ,Ε,ϛ,Ζ,Η,Θ,Ι,Κ,Λ,Μ,Ν,Ξ,Ο,Π,ϟ,Ρ,Σ,Τ,Υ,Φ,Χ,Ψ,Ω,ϡ  
DM: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,20,30,40,50,60,70,80,90,100,200,300,400,500,600,700,800,900  
DM: ,ΥΙΓ  
TO: Dafuq  
MD: just remember what we’ve told you  
TO: But you haven’t told me anything  
MD: oh, trust me, we have

diminsionalMoon [DM and mutatedDemicastor [MD] Ceased messaging temporalOlympiad [TO]

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basil and Aasim are probably the best at telling you exactly nothing while still taking up fifteen minutes of your life.


	13. LOFAG

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which possible powers are briefly mentioned, and imps make themselves known... sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I didn't do a very good job at describing Emma's scar, what is really is is a vertical scar running from about half-way up her throat to around the bottom of her sternum.

     Richard had never liked fantasy. But there he was sitting on the floor of his room with his computer in his lap, about to charge his first gate so he could travel around climbing his echeladder until he could go God Tier. He’d always known he would do something different, his grandfather had raised him to be the best after all. Richard supposed it was slightly ironic really, the Homestuck fan that hates non-reality plays SBURB. He stood up and captchalogued his laptop. Then he exited his house and began to approach his first gate, which was about a mile away.

mysticWinter [MW] Began messaging ruthlessKnight [RK]

MW: ~Time for your first lesson~

MW: ~Duck~

RK: OW!

RK: WTF MIRIAM!!

MW: ~Stay aware of your surroundings!~

RK: How the fuck am I supposed to do that when I’m talking to you?!

MW: ~You’ll learn eventually~

RK: Is it possible for you to not be a bitch

MW: ~No?~

RK: You seem confused

MW: ~Bitch means a female dog~

RK: LSIMHBIWFEFMTALOL

MW: ~What?~

RK: Nothing

MW: ~I get the feeling certain cultural differences are making this conversation harder than it needs to be~

RK: No dip Sherlock

RK: OW!!!

RK: WTF!!!

MW: ~hhhhhmmmmm~

RK: You bitch!!

MW: ~What do you mean?~

RK: You know exactly what I mean

MW: ~I’m afraid I don’t~

RK: I keep getting hit by flying glass!

RK: I know you’re behind it you little bitch!

MW: ~Oh~

MW: ~No~

MW: ~That’s your imps~

RK: And the flying frogs

MW: ~Game abstractions~

MW: ~I had them too~

RK: So you are a space player!

MW: ~You seem surprised~

MW: ~Why else would I be your mentor~

RK: I don’t know

MW: ~You need to wake up~

RK: Huh

MW: ~On your moon~

RK: No

RK: I got that

RK: But

RK: Why the sudden topic change

MW: ~Something just came up~

MW: ~I’ll talk to you later~

RK: Um

RK: Okay

mysticWinter [MW] Ceased messaging ruthlessKnight [RK]

****  
  


Richard stared at his phone for a moment, before walking into a tree. He rubbed his head while glaring at the tree as if it was the cause of all his problems. Sorantulasprite snickered behind him,

“What the fuck do you want,” _Get ready for a guest_ “Wha-” it was then he noticed a boy falling from the portal above Richard's’ house, “Shit,” Richard started to run. As he ran it seemed as if Adam, for that was who the boy was, was slowing down. Just as Richard reached his house Adam landed softly on the ground staring around in amazement.

mysticWinter [MW] Began messaging ruthlessKnight [RK] At 01:12 PM

MW: ~Next time be ready~

MW: ~I won’t always be here to save your sorry ass after all~

mysticWinter [MW] Ceased messaging ruthlessKnight [RK] At 01:12 PM

Adam was staring at Richard when he looked back up.

“What?”

“Do I know you?”

“I don’t think so,” though now that Richard thought about it Adam did look familiar. _Maybe_ \- Richard fell to the ground, unconscious.

****  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miriam if you keep going like this people will think you're.... up to something.
> 
> Sorantula is a 'candy-red' sock-tarantula. So now we know Miriam's aspect, don't even think about asking about what Miriam meant by 'next time'.


	14. LOMAC (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which explanation is given for the last chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so pisssed because I accidentally deleted this entire chapter and had to restart. Not sure how much I like this version.

Darren leaped from the cliff onto the horde of imps below. The impact killed three, and the rock in his hands killed another two. Darren was surrounded by the remaining ten when a canyon opened up beneath their feet. Frogsprite caught Darren but the imps were doomed.

interactiveCartographer [IC]Began messaging temporalOlympiad [TO]

IC: Can you contact Richard’s mentor and ask her why he passed out

IC: I’m a little busy making sure we don’t die

TO: Sure whats her name

IC: mysticWinter

temporalOlympiad [TO] Ceased messaging interactiveCartographer [IC]

temporalOlympiad [TO]  Began messaging mysticWinter [MW]

TO: Why did Richard pass out?

MW: ~He over exerted himself~

MW: ~When Adam fell through his gate he instinctively reached out to stop his fall~

MW: ~An impressive attempt really~

MW: ~Sadly I had to step in too slow Adam down~

TO: Oh

TO: So it’s my fault

MW: ~In a way~

MW: ~Just make sure it doesn’t happen again~

TO: Ok

TO: Do you know what he needs?

MW: ~Right now all he needs is rest~

MW: ~Though it won’t seem like it helped~

TO: Why?

MW: ~Something just came up~

MW: ~I have to go~

mysticWinter [MW] Ceased messaging temporalOlympiad [TO]

temporalOlympiad [TO] Began messaging interactiveCartographer [IC]

TO: She says all he needs is sleep

IC: Thanks

TO: Also

TO: Would you go onto his computer to make sure your client doesn’t die when they come through

IC: Sure

TO: Alright

TO: Prepare for possible flying furniture

IC: Got it

interactiveCartographer [IC] Ceased messaging temporalOlympiad [TO]

Darren sat at the edge of the cliff and pulled out his laptop to build up Richard’s house.

 

****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously Miriam, saying 'something just came up' isn't going to work forever you know
> 
> In case anyone was wondering in, terms of wealth, the Adam is equal to Rose and Richard is equal to John. Everyone else is in-between the two of them. In order of wealthiest to least wealthy, Emma, Darren, Alyssa, and Kaitlyn.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do people even read these

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not happy with this chapter
> 
> Sorry for the hiatus

Kaitlyn knew she was going to die, she didn’t really mind, that kind of thing was inevitable when your sprite had disappeared, your consorts were dropping dead every minute, and your portals were glitching out like there was no tomorrow. So, Kaitlyn sang-Richard had told her that singing released endorphiwhatitits and made you happier for some reason. She sang the theme song from an old cartoon she used to watch, it had dancing octopi or some shit.

“Wake up in the morning, there’s a brand new day ahead, the sun is bright and the clouds smile down, and all your friends are dead. But the ocean is so friendly, the bright blue diamond stratosphere; and you know you’re going to have buckets of fun, as soon as you can get out of here. You swim and swim and swim some more, to find a new squiddle colony, and though there’s hope you really can’t help, but just feel a little bit… Lonely” her chat client pinged and she took out her phone.

 

tetiaryNeptune [TN]  Opened memo  Homestuck Rules

TN: To the Seelenanteil

TN: We need to have a talk

TN: You think we are ignorant fuckasses

VL: And you’ve been so many places it must be so

TN: But still we can’t see

TN: If the fuckasses are really us

VL: How could there be so much that we don’t know

TN: You think you own whatever world you created

IC: Earth is just a dead thing you can claim

TO: Well it kinda is

TN: But we know every rock and tree and parent

VL: Has a life

VL: Has a spirit

VL: Has a name

MP: You think the only people who are people

MP: Are the people who look and think like you

VL: But if you walk the footsteps of a blind girl

TN: You’ll learn things you'll start wish you never knew

MP: Have you ever heard a deaf girl crying all alone

TO: Or asked your father why he sells drugs

IC: Can you shout with all the voices of Parliament

TO: Can you paint with all the colors that we type

TO: Can you paint with all the colors

TO: That

TO: We

TO: Type

DM: Uh

DM: No?

MD: i am so fucking done

MW: ~What did I just read?~

WM: ThIs Is related to some earth thIng Isn’t It

VL: Don’t look at our sun lest you will be blinded

MP: Unless you’re weird like Alyssa

TN: Hey!

IC: Don’t game with spiders else you’ll probably die

MP: If you talk with a writer that can’t write shipping

VL: There’s a chance you’ll run into that lime girl

MP: The teal typing assholes just a poser

IC: But the lime colored artist will be your friend

TO: And we are all connected to each other

TN: In a game of SBURB that never ends

TO: How high can your father get you

VL: If you don’t do drugs

VL: That's okay too 

MW: ~What am I reading?~

DM: I have no idea

IC: But you’ll never hear that deaf girl crying all alone

MP: For whether we have pink or grayish skin

IC: We need to shout with all the voices of Parliament

TN: We need to paint with all the colors that we type

TO: You may be aliens but still

TO: You’re just aliens until

VL: You can paint with all the colors

VL: That

MP: We

IC: Type

MW: ~0-0~

DM: 0-0

MD: 0-0

WM: 0-0

MW: ~....~

DM; ….

MD: ….

WM: ….

MW: ~What~

DM: Did

MD: i

WM: Just

MW: ~R~   
DM: e

MD: a

WM: d

tetiaryNeptune [TN]  Set memo to invite only

tetiaryNeptune [TN]  Invited  voidedLemur [VL]

tetiaryNeptune [TN]  Invited  interactiveCartographer [IC]

tetiaryNeptune [TN]  Invited  mysticalParagon [MP]

tetiaryNeptune [TN]  Invited  ruthlessKnight [RK]

tetiaryNeptune [TN]  Invited  temporalOlympiad [TO]

TN: That was perfect

VL: ikr

MP: You two are perfect

IC: I second that motion

RK: Thirded

TO: Eh, why the hell not

TO: Fourthed

VL: Aw guys I’m blushing

TN: She’s not blushing

VL: stfu

TN: I cannot tell a lie

VL: That’s beside the point though

RK: Way to flip topics on us there

MP: She’s a writer

MP: It’s what she does

VL: Darren

TO: What

VL: Is your father a drug dealer

TO: Yeah

TO: oh god

IC: What

TO: he was out when i entered the medium 

TO: oh god hes dead

TO: its my fault

MP: Do you need a minute

TO: yeah

TO: ill be back later

temporalOlympiad [TO] left memo  Homestuck rules

TN: Was anyone else’s guardian out

IC: Mine died a while back

MP: I locked mine in the closet as soon as I realized what was happening

RK: Mine’s

ruthlessKnight [RK] has left memo Homestuck Rules

VL: Richard?

VL: Um

VL: Okay?

VL: Mine’s staring at the wall

VL: Again

TN: Seriously?

VL: Yes

TN: Mine’s passed out 

TN: On the couch

TN: And going to have a wicked hangover when he wakes up

VL: Shit

TN: Yeah

RK: HOLY-FUCKING-SHIT

IC: What?

RK: THERE WAS A FUCKING ROBBER IN MY CLOSET

IC: What the hell

IC: How did I not know about this

IC: And when the hell did you wake up

RK: IDK 

RK: I think I’ve been awake for awhile

RK: I just couldn’t move

MP: Sleep paralysis

VL:  brb

VL: I’m a giant wimp

VL: I cry in my sleep

VL: I bdfxjnjbcxdekepreknewgjrkposl

MP: Um

IC: What

RK: yeah 

RK: What

VL: My apologies

VL: Alyssa was typing on my computer while I was otherwise indisposed 

TN: WAS NOT

MP: Sure

TN: I’M FEELING VERY OFFENDED THAT YOU WOULD TAKE EMMA’S SIDE ON THIS

RK: I find myself agreeing with Kaitlyn and Emma

IC: I do as well

TN: Fuck you Adam

TN: Fuck you in particular

VL: Yeah yeah

voidedLemur [VL] closed memo Homestuck Rules 

 


	16. Rewind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for death/violence, that section has asterisks around it if you want to avoid that.

Kaitlyn: Be humored by this development 

You can not direct Kaitlyn to be humored by this development as you have no control over the events in the timeline currently being viewed. 

The timeline will now continue.

 

“He killed them! He fucking killed them!”

The card players looked up from their game in confusion.

“What?” Emma finally asked 

“We were just talking to them when he just snapped and started killing them,” Kaitlyn sobbed. Richard jumped to his feet. “You’re kidding,” Kaitlyn shook her head. 

“You need to leave,” Adam said quietly, his eyes unfocused. “What?” Kaitlyn asked.

“You need to leave now, you aren't strong enough to take us back with you, but you can at least save yourself,” 

“I'm not leaving you.” Kaitlyn gasped. There was a banging sound from the door.

“It's too late.” Emma stood, pulling Alyssa up.

 

The door burst open, revealing a corrupted player. 

******

“Alyssa, get behind me,” Emma whispered. Emma raised her hand in front of her, about to summon her power. Before she could, a purple tendril extended from Darren and plunged into her chest. Emma choked, looking down with a confused expression on her face, before collapsing onto the carpet. Alyssa dropped to her knees next to her and turned Emma over. 

“No,” she whispered.

“How could you!” Adam charged Darren, before getting hit with a tendril himself. 

“She was your friend,” he muttered, pinned to a wall, unable to move. 

 

Richard shoved Kaitlyn under the table before being strangled by a tendril. Alyssa was hit by one in the back of the head and collapsed next to Emma’s corpse, still holding her hand. Kaitlyn covered her mouth with her hand, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. 

****

“Where are you Kaaaitlyn.” Darren sang, “I know you're in heeere.” Kaitlyn squeezed her eyes shut and turned back the clock. 

 

Kaitlyn arrived six months before the start of SBURB. She found herself sitting in front of herself, causing herself to scream and fall out of her chair. 

“Who the fuck are you!” Little Kaitlyn shouted, brandishing her phone as a weapon. 

“I'm you,” Kaitlyn lowered her hand, feeling calmed by the knowledge that Darren couldn't get her here.

“No you're not, I'm me. You’re just some weirdo that looks a lot like me and somehow managed to get into my house without me noticing and is cosplaying as a Homestuck God tier,” 

“Anomalistic,”

“What,” 

“When you were ten you decided to use that as a password in case future selves decided to contact you,”

“How did you know that?”

“I'm you, from.” Kaitlyn counted on her figures “Roughly a year in the future.” 

“Oh, how did you get here? Also why the fuck are you cosplaying?” Little Kaitlyn slowly sat back down on her couch.

“Long story short, Homestuck is real and shit hits the fan in six months,” 

“Oh, why are you here,” 

“My timeline is doomed, very badly,”

“So?” Kaitlyn leveled herself with a look.

“I have to be here,”

“What do you mean?”

“Similar to when Terezi killed John, the Alpha timeline can't exist without interference from my timeline,” 

“Do I want to know why?” 

“Darren killed the other members of my session.” Little Kaitlyn’s head snapped up.

“Darren wouldn't do that!”

“My apologies, a manisfestation of his powers worked through him to kill the other members of my session,”

“You're lying!”

“What would I gain by doing that?”

“I don't know, but you are. Darren wouldn't let that happen!”

“Oh god, I forgot. You like him don't you,”

“Wha-No!”

“Don't try and lie to me you little shit!” 

“I'm not lying!”

“Like hell!”

“You're a bitch!” Kaitlyn paused. “You realize you just called yourself a bitch, right?” Little Kaitlyn paused, her face flushing.

“Sh-shut up,” Kaitlyn burst out laughing, a high, screechy cackle. Double over she laughed for a good minutes before her laughter turned into violent sobbing. 

“Eh?” Little Kaitlyn said, awkwardly patting Kaitlyn’s back as she collapsed into her lap. Kaitlyn jolted back up, a wide grin on her face.

“Great! Now that I've planted that metaforical bombshell on you, see you once SBURB starts-that's 4/13 by the way- sooo bye know!” Kaitlyn disappeared with a pop and a flash of red light, leaving a very-very-confused younger self behind.

“What the fuck?”


	17. Familial Bonding

mysticWinter [MW] Began chatting with webcamMagnus [WM]

 

MW: ~You're a fucking piece of shit~

MW: ~You know that right?~

WM: yeah

MW: ~Just felt like I should remind you~

WM: you realIze just how annoyIng your quIrk Is rIght

MW: ~You have told me multiple times~

WM: It just looks lIke you're some dItz prancIng through the forest and slowly fadIng out In your speech whIle gazIng Into the dIstance

MW: ~Ok~

WM: why do you even type lIke that anyway

MW: ~As I have told you multiple times~

MW: ~Brother~

MW: ~I simply enjoy the way it looks~

WM: could you not call me brother

WM: It's really uncomfortable 

MW: ~Fine Horado~

MW: ~As long as you agree not to call me sister~

WM: alrIght adhara 

MW: ~Thanks~

WM: It's not a problem 

MW: ~I never did thank you for keeping me from becoming a martyr in the game~

MW: ~So~

MW: ~Thanks~

MW: ~For that too~

WM: and I never thanked you for keepIng me from rampagIng 

WM: a lot 

MW: ~That was when we were little~

WM: It stIll helped

WM: more than I care to admIt

MW: ~I know~ 

MW: ~I'll speak to you later~

WM: bye

 

mysticWinter [MW] ceased chatting with webcamMagnus [WM] 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blah


	18. Journeymen

 

Be the really nice alien girl

 

**You can't be the ‘really nice alien girl’ because she is used to this bullshit and is fucking done with all your proverbial shit**

 

Be the less nice alien girl

 

**You can’t be the ‘less nice alien girl’ because she is even more done with your bullshit than the first one**

 

Be the-

 

**You know the fuck what. I'm banning the aliens, because they've had to deal with too much of this crap. Go be Alyssa or something.**

 

Alyssa was holding a book in her hands.

“So how do I captuloge things? I just will it to go into my deck, right?” Emma nodded and gave an example with her computer. Alyssa willed the book into her deck and it disappeared with a pop. “And to call it back I just think of holding the item?” Again Emma nodded, Alyssa tried and the book appeared back in her hand.

“Cool, do you want to upgrade our weapons before we head over to Adam’s land?” Alyssa asked, heading to the alchemiter. She heard Emma’s footsteps following her. “Wow,” she sighed “Adam really couldn't have chosen a worse place to put all this. Its nice he put it all in the same room though, even if it's right in the center of everything.” Emma shrugged. “Hmmm, I'm thinking maybe electric fans. What about you?” Alyssa turned towards Emma, ‘If I could get flames to shoot out when I swing my knives, I think that would be nice’ 

“Oh yeah, definitely. So, hmmm, maybe if we used a match we could get that. What about electricity?” Emma looked around ‘Maybe a lightbulb, I think I have some in a box upstairs.” Alyssa took the stairs two at a time, “Cool, I'll go find those. I'm pretty sure you have some matches in the kitchen.” 

Emma smiled as she watched Alyssa bound up the stairs,  _ I already knew that, dummy, this  _ is _ my house you know. _ Emma pulled a box of matches out of her deck,  _ Besides, I had them with me already.  _ Emma typed in the code for the matches and punched a blank card, before punching the card again with her knife code. She stuck the card into the Totem Lathe after placing a Cruxite Dowel on the podium. She then placed the carved dowel on the alchemiter and watched as her new knives were created. She picked them up,  _ Dragon Knives, huh, not bad attack power, and it only costs 50 grist 1 shale too. Doesn't shoot fire, but they do light on fire which is still pretty good. _

Alyssa ran to the edge of the balcony overlooking the main room, 

“Hey Emma I- Whoa!” Alyssa somehow flipped over the balcony, falling roughly ten feet before landing in Emma’s arms. “Heh, sorry about that.” She blushed as Emma set her down.

‘You should be more careful,” 

“Yeah… Sorry,”

‘How did you even fall, you practically live here.’ Alyssa shrugged, “Dunno.. Buuut I did find the light bulbs!” She tossed a light bulb out of her deck, typing in the code and punching the card before catching the light bulb and re-captuloging it. She then typed in the code for her fans and punched the card again. Once her new fans were made-Watt’s Battle Fans-she tested them out. When she swung them they would light up with an electric field.

“It's like SAO up in here.” She laughed. Emma shuddered, ‘Let's not talk about that.” Alyssa threw her head back and laughed, “Aww, is you scared?” Emma frowned at her improper grammar. “Whaaaaat?” Alyssa whined, Emma frowned harder. “Fiiiiine.” Alyssa laughed, “We should get going, do you have anything you want to bring with you?” Emma looked around, a melancholic look in her eyes, before shaking her head. 

“What’s got you so sad?” Alyssa placed a comforting arm around her shoulders, ‘Once I go out there, everything will change,” 

“But, didn’t you go outside before?” Emma nodded,

‘Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it felt real. You’re the thing that makes it real, does that make sense?’ 

“Probably not, but I get what you mean,” Alyssa walked towards the front door but stopped just before leaving, she turned her hard back “You coming?” Emma took one last look at her home before nodding and following Alyssa.

 

**There, was that fucking nice enough for you. God the things I do. I should get a fucking raise.**

 


	19. Exile

**Hey, hey kid**

**Stop ignoring me**

**Pay attention**

**_Listen to me_ **

Adam flinched, the yelling in his head only growing louder. He growled, pushing his hands against his ears in a futile attempt to stop the noise.

**That's not going to work kid**

Adam gritted his teeth and grabbed a pen and piece of paper off of Richard’s kitchen table.’What do you want’ he wrote down on the paper.

**For you to listen to me**

‘Well I am’

**You should kill the boy upstairs**

‘What’

**The boy upstairs, you should kill him**

‘No’

**Why**

‘Because the session would be doomed without him, BECAUSE HE’S MY FRIEND’

**You don't even know him**

‘What's your point’

**You can't say he's your friend if you don't know him**

**‘** I can and I will, Exile’

**Ooo fancy, you know what I am**

‘Obviously’

**Well then what else do you know if that’s so obvious**

‘I know that you’re probably from Derse given your attitude’

**Ding Dong we have a winner**

‘Can you just shut up, please’ 

**Well since you asked so nicely..**

Adam rubbed his temples and headed upstairs, he peered into the doorway to Richard’s room,

“Alyssa and Emma should be getting here in an hour or two, everyone else should be after them.” Richard spun around in his chair,

“Who are they again?”

“ Alyssa is TN and Emma is VL, they’re lime and blue.” Richard nodded,

“Thanks.” Adam gave him a thumbs up,

“No problem, I’m gonna go gank some imps for a bit.” Richard waved him off and went back to his computer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent waaaaay to long on this and the last chapter, prepare for another month of no updates.


End file.
